Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
