i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
