nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Duck Duck Cougar?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We just shotgunned beers for America
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
