your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it was like eating out sand paper
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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