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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We talked him into tasing himself.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
