Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
