No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
