I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
