Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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