I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
