I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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