Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
