She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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