He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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