And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
