I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
