Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
