I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
