man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
