Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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