Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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