brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
