we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
