Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
