yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
