You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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