I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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