How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
