What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
