I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
