also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
