Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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