My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
