Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
