When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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