your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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