How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
