Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
