More tranny stories later!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
