Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
