And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
