i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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