I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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