Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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