Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
