Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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