I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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