What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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