I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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