i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
