So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
