she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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