i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
