What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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