I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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