I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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