Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
