The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
