he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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